


To Quicken the Dead

by FrancesOsgood



Category: Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Infertility, Love, Sex, Timeline What Timeline, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:17:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrancesOsgood/pseuds/FrancesOsgood
Summary: The King of the Underworld knows a thing or two about heartbreak. Scarred inside and out, Hades finds it difficult to trust his heart to another's affections. However, an unlikely ally comes to his aid, ready to make amends for the past and guide him once more to a place of healing. A place where he can trust and love again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the record I am practically the Captain of the Good Ship Hades/Persephone. However, I think it's important to explore Hades' past with Hera in order to understand his thoughts and actions regarding the Goddess of Spring. Hades has some heavy emotional baggage. It's going to affect all of his relationships, romantic or not. Understanding this can help us get a clearer insight into why he reacts the way he does to certain people and situations. 
> 
> This is my first LO fan-fic, but I'm no fanfiction virgin. I will take some liberties with the material, as is my right, nay DUTY, as a Scribe. I welcome comments, constructive-criticism, questions, etc. and will do my utmost to reply, respond and answer.
> 
> *Because Chapter #77 literally made me say "WHAAAAT??!!"

“_ I didn’t know you wanted to get married!” _

_ “Yes. Yes, you did.” _

He hadn’t asked her. He had known better. No need to make a _ complete _ fool of himself. He’d watched her accept his brother instead. Zeus would make her happy… 

“Am I doing the right thing?” she’d asked out of the blue. He’d taken her out at Zeus’ request to buy new furniture for her wing of the massive house and she was now paused in front of a very stylish and sexy white leather sofa with gold nailhead trim. He was considering buying one in black for his study. 

“What?” he asked, unsure he’d heard correctly. 

She turned to face him, her big blue eyes wide with uncertainty. “Am I doing the right thing?” she repeated. “Marrying him.”

He noticed that she didn’t say “Zeus” or “your brother”. Just “him”. Was she seriously having doubts? 

He gave her a sideways glance and rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to answer. What could he say? 

_ “No, you’re not. This is a terrible idea. Stop this nonsense and marry _ ** _me_ ** _ .” _

He bit his lip to keep his thoughts from spilling out into words. Words that would undoubtedly complicate an already unsteady situation. 

“I think this sofa will look nice in your reading nook,” he told her instead.

She sighed. “Hades…”

Her eyes pleaded with his for honesty, something he’d never denied her. He looked down at the floor.

“Bunny,” he began, “You know I can’t answer that for you. All I know is that my brother is crazy about you and will do his best to make you happy.”

Hera didn’t answer, but ran her hand along the back of the sofa, dainty satin gloves against pearly leather. 

“You love him… don’t you?” asked Hades.

She angled her eyes toward him. “Of course,” she answered quietly. 

They were silent for several moments, but the ghosts of their unspoken words haunted the space between them, thickening the ether with negatively charged energy. 

“I think I like this one,” Hera said at last, nodding toward the white leather sofa. She turned to him with a smile. “Help me get it home?”

* * *

“This is a really really bad idea,” he panted later that afternoon as she pulsed and swiveled on top of him. 

It was wrong on so many levels, but it felt so good: smooth white leather caressing his naked ass cheeks while she straddled him, sliding up and down his rigid shaft. Her beautiful golden breasts bounced just at the level of his mouth as she moved. He took one sunny nipple in his mouth and tugged at it and she moaned and arched her back. 

“We have to stop doing this,” he groaned between her breasts. 

“We will,” she answered breathlessly, her eyes shut tight. “After-- after the wedding.”

The wedding. Fuck the wedding. For months there had been no talk other the The Wedding. It was all over the gossip magazines and the news. It was the first thing people asked about when they saw him.

“Finally getting the little brother hitched, aren’t you?” they would say. “He’s a lucky guy.”

He would always smile politely and agree, but inwardly he wanted to scream. He was dreading the stupid wedding. Not just because it meant an end to any hope he had of being with Hera. It was also another clear reminder that he was alone and would likely stay that way.

He’d been to weddings before. He was familiar with all the sly smiles and finger pointing and teasing of “You’re next!” 

No one ever teased him in that way. Because they knew. 

Hades gripped Hera’s hips and thrust hard up into her, eliciting a sharp gasp from her lips. He did it again and then again because dammit, if this was all he was going to get he was going to drain every ounce of pleasure out of it that he could. She grabbed onto his shoulders and rode out his heavy onslaught, her face to the ceiling. 

“H-Hades…” she huffed between thrusts. He could feel her tightening around him, her walls clenching and holding him. She quivered and spasmed around him as she climaxed, contracting around his shaft, drawing him closer to release. He gave her one last hard thrust before pulling out of her completely. 

“Fuuuuck!” he cried as he came, emptying himself onto her golden belly. 

Hera fell limply against his broad, blue shoulder, panting and shuddering with the aftershocks of her orgasm. Hades put his arms around her, trailing one finger down her ridged spine. 

Would it really have been so bad for her to choose him? Was what he had to offer truly so repulsive that she’d give up this level of passion to marry his ridiculous brother?

Yes, he decided. Yes, it was. For her. 

She was light and warmth and life and he was everything but. He was darkness and cold and decay and despite the earlier promises that there would be no stigma, it marked him. He was set apart. Set aside. Kept at arm's length. 

“You’re doing the right thing,” he whispered against her hair. 

She sat back and looked at him, her expression one of sadness and disappointment. He reached up and cupped her face with his hand. 

“He’ll make you happy. You deserve to be happy,” he told her.

“What about you?” she asked, nuzzling against his neck. 

“I’ll be all right.”

“But you’re alone…”

“Maybe I’ll get a dog. Or two.”

She laughed as she climbed off his lap. “That’s my replacement? A dog?”

He gave a mirthless chuckle and looked away. 

_ Nothing could ever replace you... _

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Hades had been her first. She found it comically adorable that he thought she didn’t know that she was  _ his  _ first as well. He had a reputation for messing around with nymphs and the like, but she had known that their first time together was a first time for  _ both  _ of them. He’d been so gentle and uncertain that first night. 

_ “Is this okay?”  _ he’d asked, laying a trembling hand over her breast.

She had nodded and he’d continued touching her, a bit clumsily, but not rough or pawing. His caresses were gentle and unhurried. He’d placed delicate kisses over her fevered skin, each one a token of his devotion. He’d worshiped her from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet, leaving her skin hot and glowing from his attentions. 

When he’d finally positioned himself between her thighs, he looked down at her, uncertain.

_ “Are you sure you want this?”  _ he asked, as if he really feared she’d say no. She knew that if she had said no he would have hauled himself off her without a second thought. But she hadn’t. She had wanted it. She’d wanted him. And she saw in his eyes how much he truly wanted her. Not just as a virgin to claim. He wanted  _ her.  _

_ “It’s okay,”  _ she had told him, spreading her legs a little wider. 

He’d lowered himself a bit and then… 

She ‘d gasped as he filled her. She heard his gasp too and it was beautiful. Almost as if he were in disbelief that such a thing could happen to him. Because maybe he was. 

He’d moved tentatively at first, afraid to hurt her. She’d encouraged him.

“ _ It feels good. You feel good, Hades,”  _ she’d told him. It was true. He felt exquisite inside her. So strong, yet so unsure of himself. The firm body of a man, a god, yet the heart of an uncertain little boy. 

She was awash in emotions and he’d thought at first that she cried because she was upset.

“ _ I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”  _ he’d groaned.  _ “I’ll stop.”  _

Her arms went around his neck and her lips pressed to his. 

_ “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. I want this. I want you. Always.” _

_ “But you’re crying…” _

_ “I’m crying because I’m happy, you big, blue dork.” _

_ “Oh,”  _ he’d said. 

And then, as if her happiness was the singlemost erotic thing in the world, he came. He came hard and hot, spilling into her in grunt-punctuated spurts. 

His release triggered her own, his quivering spasms inside her drawing out a tidal wave of bliss that crashed over her, drowning her in ecstasy. She called his name as she climaxed, clenching around him and milking every drop of his release from him. 

He’d collapsed on top of her, shuddering and spent, and she’d held him in her arms and between her legs, feeling the aftershocks of their mutual pleasure still vibrating through him. When he finally withdrew, he crumpled next to her on the thin mat. 

_ “Gods…”  _ he had dreamily sighed. She’d giggled, pleased with herself at having reduced the fearsome Hades to a quivering mass of goo. 

“Hera,” he’d whispered into the darkness. “I love you.” 

And it was then that she understood that they could never be together.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your hen party?” he asked, eyeing her bathrobe and undone face and hair.

“Aren’t _ you _ supposed to be helping Poseidon get ready for Zeus’ stag party?” Hera countered. 

Hades shrugged. “It doesn’t start until ten. I have time to kill…” He gave her a sly grin that made her insides uncomfortably squishy. She pulled her bathrobe tighter around her and moved toward her dressing table.

He watched her walk away. She was incredibly beautiful, even barefaced and wet-haired. He guessed she could wear a dirty burlap sack and a tin can for a hat and still look gorgeous. She sat down at her dressing table and began rifling through her cosmetics.

“You’re in charge of the entertainment this evening, aren’t you?” she asked, gazing at him from the mirror.

“Uh… yeah,” he said, adjusting his collar. Her reflection glared at him.

“Anything... special?” she asked, raising a golden eyebrow.

“W--well,” he stammered, “I’ve booked a really great DJ…”

Hera drummed her fingers across the top of her dressing table. “Anything else?” she questioned.

“Ummm… nope,” Hades answered, giving her his best Boy Scout smile. 

“Hades…” she said, turning around to face him. “Are you absolutely sure? Because if I find out--”

“Aw, come on, Bunny!” he cried, throwing his arms up in exasperation. “It’s not a bachelor party without strippers!”

“Strippers? With an S? As in plural?” she fumed. “Forget it, Hades.”

“The strippers aren’t for Zeus,” Hades argued. “They’re for the rest of us. Or is that what you’re concerned about?” He moved to where she sat and leaned over her shoulder, nuzzling against her neck.

“Very funny, Hades,” Hera said, shoving him away. “I’m getting married in the morning. And we both agreed that we would stop… doing ** _that _ **after the wedding.”

“It’s not after the wedding. Yet.” Placing an arm on either side of her chair he caged her in and smiled down at her. 

She scowled up at him, but he didn’t miss the fact that her breathing was heavy and he knew it wasn’t from anger. 

“You really are a scoundrel, you know,” she snarled. 

“Oh, most definitely,” he answered with a chuckle. 

Hera launched herself at him, her lips clashing against his, her fingers twisting in his tailored shirt. Hades wrapped his arms around her, crushing her against his firm chest as he plundered her beautiful mouth. There was a flurry of grasping hands and fumbling fingers as her robe was torn off and thrown aside and his shirt and pants were yanked from his body and tossed to the other side of the room. They both shimmied out of their underwear and then entwined their bodies on the plush white rug of her dressing area. 

Hades took the lead, knowing it was likely the last time they would ever be like this. He held her under him, hands beneath her head as he pumped into her for all he was worth. He kissed her mouth, her cheeks, her eyes and the sweeping curve of her jawline. Beneath him, she bucked and writhed, riding each hard thrust as if her breath depended on it. She moaned his name and it thrilled him and broke his heart at the same time. After tomorrow… she’d call for Zeus. 

He thrust harder. She could marry his idiot brother tomorrow, but in this moment she was his and there was nothing Zeus could do about it. He’d been her first and if he’d had his way he would have been her last too. But that was not to be. This was all he had. He supposed it was enough, all things considered. He was a lucky bastard to have even this much.

His thoughts dissolved into vapor against the hot force of his climax. 

“Oh Hera!” he cried as he came, pulling out of her just in time to spill himself onto the white rug. He collapsed in a heap, breathing heavily, and laid a muscled blue arm over his dewy forehead. 

Neither of them spoke for several long minutes. 

“Hades,” Hera said finally, “This ends now. We can’t do this anymore. Okay?”

He covered his face with his hand. “Okay,” he told her.

She sat up beside him and leaned over him, her golden hair falling in ringlets across this chest. 

“Promise me, Hades,” she pleaded. 

He moved his hand away and looked up into her wide blue eyes and sighed. 

“I promise,” he said. He meant it. She knew. He would do anything she asked. 

She cupped his cheek with her tiny hand. “Thank you,” she whispered before placing a delicate kiss on his lips. “I suppose I can’t argue with you about the strippers now, can I?”

“Nope,” Hades said with a broad grin as he stood and began to dress.

Hera found her robe and shrugged into it. “Keep an eye on him for me, okay?” she asked. He could see the genuine worry in her eyes. “I know it’s hypocritical to ask… It’s different though,” she babbled. “A stag night fling with a stripper is a whole other thing from a rash moment of passion with someone you--” 

He looked up expectantly, but she didn’t finish the thought and the moment passed.

“I-- uh, I’ll make sure he behaves himself,” he told her. 

“Thanks, Hades,” she said with a little smile. She brushed a wrinkle from his shirt and kissed his cheek. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yes,” he sighed. “Tomorrow.” 

_ Tomorrow..._

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Hades couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this drunk. Maybe after the war. He and his brothers had all been so delirious and relieved and horrified that they’d gone on a humdinger of a bender and had nearly lost control of everything. If it hadn’t been for Hera…

_ Hera. _

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest. This was all her fault. She was the reason for his current heartache and the inevitable headache he would have come morning. 

_ “Buck up, Blue,” _ he told himself. _ “You always knew it would be this way.” _

He had known and had gone to Zeus’ stag party fully resigned to the fact that Hera had chosen his brother and that she was right to do so. Zeus could offer her so much more. And Zeus was more than happy to remind him of that fact. He’d gone on endlessly about how incredible she was and what a power couple they were going to be and how much sex they were going to have. He didn’t do it maliciously, but it stung all the same.

As always, Hades had smiled and laughed and given his brother a congratulatory slap on the back. He was happy for him. He truly was. That’s why he needed so much wine. For all the happiness.

His head was foggy and his vision was blurry and he excused himself to the balcony for some fresh air. He looked out over the twinkling lights of Olympus and sighed. 

“Fuck my life,” he groaned aloud.

“You look like shit,” said a female voice behind him. 

He turned and saw the somewhat fuzzy image of a scarlet-skinned nymph in a black negligee leaned against the wall, smoking a cigarette. She pushed off the wall and sidled over to him and he closed one eye and tried to focus on her face. She appeared very attractive even in his wine-sodden state. She gave him what he supposed was her version of a smile, a kind of half-grimace half-leer. 

“What are you doing out here all alone?” she asked, laying a clawed hand across his forearm. 

Hades shrugged and turned away and the nymph scowled. She hoisted herself onto the balcony ledge and stretched out her long tapered legs. 

“Are you always this chatty?” she asked. 

_ “Bugger off,” _thought Hades, but not wanting to be rude, even while drunk, he just grunted.

The nymph leaned back over the balcony ledge and examined him. “Okay,” she said. “If you don’t want to talk, at least let me give you a lap dance. That’s what you idiots hired me for, right?”

Hades sighed glumly. _ “Of course. You’re one of the strippers. That’s why you’re out here with me. Because I’m the guy with the checkbook.” _

“No thanks,” he told her, turning to leave.

She grabbed hold of his arm and squeezed. “I insist,” she said. “No extra charge. You look like you need it.”

He started to protest, but she pulled him away from the balcony railing. Her grip was surprisingly strong for such a thin, wispy creature. She tugged him down a hall and through the doorway of an empty room. 

“Sit,” she commanded, shoving him into a cushioned chair. 

“I--I dont--” he mumbled.

“No talking,” she said, laying a taloned finger across his lips. 

What happened after that was a blur. He had a vague memory of the nymph moving on top of him, her hands sliding under his shirt, her nails raking down his chest leaving red streaks across his azure skin. 

He came out of his haze in time to see her holding his pants and rifling through his pockets. She looked up at him when she heard his indignant grunt and shamelessly smiled. 

“You got a light?” she asked, a cigarette clenched between her pointed teeth. 

“Wh--what?” stammered Hades. “Did you-- did we--?”

“Have sex?” laughed the nymph. “Wow. I need to up my game if you don’t remember.”

Hades groaned and put his head in his hands. He felt sick. He needed to get away. He thought about going home, but was in no hurry to go back to that big, cold and empty house in the Underworld.

“Hecate,” he muttered. He needed to find Hecate.

“Girlfriend?” asked the nymph. “She doesn’t have to know. I’m no snitch.”

“No,” he shook his head. He stood up on wobbly legs and looked down and noticed he was naked. He grabbed the closest bit of fabric he could find and fastened it around his body. 

“Where are you going?” asked the nymph, putting her hands on her slim hips. 

Hades didn’t answer, but staggered out the door and down the dark hall. 

_ “Hecate,” _ his mind echoed. _ “Find Hecate.” _

* * *

He awoke some time later in a comfortable chaise in a warm room. A memory tickled in the back of his brain like a half-remembered dream, cotton-candy pink with the distinct fragrance of pomelias.

_ “Who are you?” _she asked. 

“_ My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,” _he answered slurring the words.

She smiled and giggled. “_ You’re drunk.” _

“_ You’re very astute for cotton candy.” _

_ “I’m Kore.” _

_ “I-- who am I? Oh, right. I’m the King of the Underworld.” _He sat up and extended a hand to her, but she backed away.

“_ I see my reputation precedes me,” _he said with a frown. 

“_ Oh! It isn’t that,” _ she told him. _ “It’s just that Mother doesn’t want men around here. I shouldn’t be in here, but…” _ She flushed a deeper shade of pink and looked down at the floor. _ “I was curious. I’ve never seen a man before.” _

“_ Well don’t judge my gender as a whole too harshly based solely on my pitiful representation.” _ he replied. 

“_ Why are you wearing a tablecloth?” _she asked.

He looked down at the blue cloth that was barely covering his body and chuckled.

“_ These are all the rage in the Underworld,” _ he told her. _ “Come Spring everyone will be wearing them.” _

She giggled again and it sounded like tinkling bells, sweet to his ears. Stepping closer, she studied him, her eyes gliding up and down his form with innocent curiosity. 

_ “You have marks,” _she said, biting her bottom lip in a way that made his groin tighten. 

He looked down and drew a finger across one of the vining grooves across his shoulder and arm. 

“_ Souvenirs from Daddy’s gullet,” _ he answered flatly.

“_ No, here,” _ she said, pressing a tiny pink hand to the red streaks across his chest. _ “Are those claw marks?” _

_ “I-- um… _” His already scrambled brain fizzled into vapor at the feel of her warm hand touching his cool skin.

“_ KORE! _”

There had been shouting after that and an angry green finger pointed in his face. He thought there may have been some threats of bodily harm. One never knew when it came to Demeter.

The memory faded as sleep once again beckoned and he drifted off into dreamless slumber. He woke hours later, dry-mouthed and with a pounding head. Pulling himself up from the chaise, he blinked in the dim light of the room. 

Demeter and Hecate sat across from him with knitted brows and crossed arms.

“Fuck my life,” he said as he collapsed back onto the chaise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any excuse for a "Princess Bride" reference...  
And also, screw the timeline.


	5. Chapter 5

“Take it back,” Hera said, holding the mass of white fluff out to him.

“Why are you giving it to me?” asked Hades. “The coat was a gift from Zeus.”

“Bullshit, Hades,” spat Hera. “I know you were behind this. I never told Zeus I wanted this stupid coat.” She tossed it on the sofa and glared at him. 

Hades shrugged and looked away. “I guess Zeus just made a really good guess then…” he offered. 

Hera rolled her eyes and groaned. “I never wanted the stupid thing at all, you big blue dork,” she told him. “I only told you I did as a test.”

“A test?”

“Yes. I knew he’d forget my birthday. Again. And I knew you would do him a favor and cover it. Again.”

Hades was silent, thinking of the conversation he’d had with his brother the day before. 

_ “You did remember to get something for Hera, didn’t you?”  _ he’d asked.

_ “Aww shit! Is it my anniversary again?”  _ Zeus had cried. 

_ “It’s your wife’s birthday.”  _ Hades had reminded him, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_ “Hades, my favorite brother,”  _ Zeus had cooed.  _ “Can you do me a solid? Pick up something for her for me, okay? I’m swamped right now with stuff and don’t have time to go shopping for girly things. Besides, you know what she likes much better than I do…” _

“Damn straight, I do,” muttered Hades. 

“What?” asked Hera. 

“I-- uh… How do you know that I didn’t suggest the coat to Zeus?” Hades asked. “Yes,” he added, the thought taking shape. “My brother asked for a gift idea for you and I told him about the coat and he went out and bought it for you like a good, attentive husband.”

He gave her a weak smile. Hera was not amused.

“The card is in your handwriting,” she replied flatly.

Hades’ shoulders slumped. He knew he’d been found out, but he didn’t understand why she was so angry with him. He was just trying to be a good brother and a good friend. 

“Why do you always cover for him?” Hera asked. “He doesn’t even feel bad about it anymore. He doesn’t try. He knows you’ll cover his ass.”

“Bunny, I don’t do it for him.” Hades looked up at her, his eyes soft and sad. “I don’t want you to be upset or disappointed.”

“It isn’t your place to make me happy,” Hera said quietly. “It’s my  _ husband’s. _ ” 

“Right,” Hades sighed. He turned away to leave.

“Hades, wait,” Hera called. She moved to where he stood paused in the doorway. 

“Thank you,” she told him, laying a golden hand against his jaw. “I appreciate what you do for us. You’re a good man.”

“Bunny…”

She covered his lips with hers before he could continue and he gasped against her mouth. Her lips were as soft and luscious as he remembered and he relaxed into the kiss, opening his mouth for her to caress his tongue with hers. The kiss deepened and her hands went to his broad chest, while his went into her hair. Hera pressed her body against his, grinding her hips against his pelvis. His body’s reaction snapped him from his lustful haze and he broke out of her embrace.

“Bunny, no,” he said, trying to steady his breathing and slow his pulse. “We can’t. We promised.”

“Please Hades,” Hera said, reaching for him. “Just once. Just for tonight. It’s been so long…”

He knew he should say no, but he’d never been able to deny her anything. And so he made love to her. Slowly. Deliberately. He held her afterward and let her cry out her frustration and guilt until she slept. And then he crept home. 

He hung the coat in the back of the guest room closet and was pouring himself a glass of wine when Cerberus growled at his side. 

“Where the hell have you been all night?” croaked an angry female voice. The sound of it drove prickles of ice up his spine.

_ “Shit!”  _ he thought. He’d forgotten Minthe was there. 

He turned to her and gave her what he hoped was a charming smile. 

“Oh, hi Tadpole,” he said meekly. “I was at Zeus’ and Hera’s late. Her birthday party, remember? The one you decided at the last minute you didn’t want to go to?”

Minthe gave him her signature death-stare. “You were there a long time,” she grunted.

Hades faked a chuckle. “Yes, well Zeus and I were talking and I guess I lost track of time…”

“Zeus, huh?” Minthe said, raising an eyebrow and putting her hand on her hip. She didn’t tell him that she knew that Zeus had skulked off to rendezvous with Thetis. Better to store that info away for another day. 

“Um… yeah,” answered Hades, absently twisting a cocktail napkin. 

“Well, come to bed now, it’s late,” said Minthe, grabbing him by the arm. “You have a shit-ton of meetings tomorrow and I’m not reworking your schedule again.”

“I...uh… I think I’m just going to grab a shower,” Hades said, pulling out of her grasp.

“Whatever,” Minthe said, rolling her eyes. She stalked off down the hall and he breathed a sigh of relief. 

He decided to use the shower in the bathroom just off the pool. He leaned against the slick wall and let the cold water beat against his chest and run down his torso and legs. He felt more than guilty at having slept with his brother’s wife, but he knew Zeus wasn’t exactly the poster boy for fidelity. 

“It was just this once,” he told himself. “We won’t do it again.”

He somehow found it difficult to convince himself that that was the truth. 

* * *

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I need to f*ck with the timeline some more.


	6. Chapter 6

Zeus’ phone continually dinged throughout dinner. He didn’t answer it, but he didn’t turn it off either. Hera shot him a death glare.

“Do you mind, Zeus?” she asked. “It’s not often we get to have Hades over for dinner. Can we at least not have our conversation constantly interrupted by your phone?”

“I can’t just turn off my phone, Hera,” scoffed her husband. “I have important business.” He looked at Hades. “You’re a businessman. You know what it’s like. You’re always on call, right?”

Hades gave his brother a smug smile. “I left my phone in the car.”

“_ I left my phone in the car,” _mocked Zeus, rolling his eyes.

“If anyone wants me, they’ll just have to wait,” Hades said, turning to Hera. “Family is much more important.”

Hera stared at Zeus across the table with an expression that read, “Did you hear what _ he _ said?”

“Hmph,” grunted Zeus. “And yet you’re not married, big brother. I wonder why?”

“Zeus!” cried Hera.

Hades only smiled calmly and shook his head. “Perhaps I’m thinking about it,” he told his brother.

Zeus looked up, alarmed. “You’re not thinking of marrying that river nymph, are you?” he groaned.

“Her name is Minthe,” answered Hades, growing irritated. “And maybe I am.”

“Ugh, Hera! Talk some sense into your idiot brother-in-law!”

Hera was spared commenting by Zeus’ phone dinging once again. Zeus looked down at the display and smiled before schooling his expression into one of annoyance. 

“I--uh, need to go,” he told his dinner companions. “There’s a thing with some… stuff and, um… I have to deal with it.”

“What?” asked Hera. “Your brother is visiting and you’re just going to rush off like that?” 

“Can’t be helped, Bunny,” Zeus said, getting up from the table and heading for the door. He looked at his older brother. “We’ll catch up at brunch, m’k?” 

“Yeah, sure,” said Hades as Zeus swept out the door and was gone. 

There was a long silence at the table. Hera sat dejectedly staring at her husband’s empty seat while Hades absently twisted his napkin under the table. 

“Dinner was nice,” he said at last. “Thanks for having me.”

“You’re welcome,” Hera said quietly. “I’m sorry your brother’s such an ass.”

Hades chuckled. “C’mon, it’s no surprise to me,” he told her. “I’m sorry _ you _ have to put up with his sh-- erm, nonsense.”

Hera rose from the table and began clearing the plates and glasses. Hades stood and helped her, carefully stacking the plates and then placing the used silverware on top. He picked up the stack and followed her into the kitchen. 

“Just put those on the counter. I’ll deal with them later,” Hera told him. He could hear the jagged edge of stress and frustration in her voice. He set the dishes down and stepped to where she leaned against the counter.

“Hey,” he said, cupping her chin. “What is it?”

Hera sighed. “He thinks I don’t know,” she told him. “He thinks I’m stupid and oblivious. That I don’t see how fast he jumps up and runs out whenever _ that _particular number calls.”

“I don’t think Zeus thinks you’re stupid, Bunny,” he said, frowning.

“Then that’s even worse!” cried Hera, pushing away from the counter. “That just means he doesn’t care.”

“Bunny…”

“She calls and he drops everything to go to her and he doesn’t care that it hurts me. He doesn’t even consider my feelings.” A tear slid down her cheek.

“You said yourself that my brother is an ass,” offered Hades.

“Well then, what does that make me?” asked Hera.

“What do you mean?”

“If he’s an ass for playing fuckboy to fishbait, what does it make me that I love him? I do love him, Hades,” she said, leaning against his broad chest.

“I know you do-”

“I love Zeus, but I really want your arms around me right now,” she whispered with a little sob. “What does that make me?”

Hades smiled and caressed her cheek. “If it makes you feel better, I love Minthe, but I really want your legs around me right now.”

Hera let out a little hiccupy laugh and looked up at him through her tears. “You scoundrel,” she said, managing a small smile. 

There was only a brief beat before his mouth was on hers, his firm body pressing her hard against the kitchen cabinets. 

“Hades,” she sighed against his mouth. “I need you.”

Still plundering her mouth with his tongue, Hades picked Hera up by her tiny waist and set her on top of the marble-topped island in the center of the kitchen. Hitching up the skirt of her dress, he peeled off her lacy underwear and knelt between her thighs. Her knees clenched against his ears at the first touch of mouth on her sensitive skin. She leaned back on her arms and opened up to him and he tasted her hungrily. He lapped and sucked on her sweet flesh until she was trembling and writhing against him. 

His mouth returned to her lips and he bucked against her. 

“Need to… fuck you…” Hades panted against her ear. 

With his mouth still against hers, Hera fumbled with the fastenings of his tailored pants. She pushed them open, revealing his dark boxer briefs. Hades hissed as one dainty hand slipped beneath the waistband of his underwear. She caressed his hard length before drawing him out and positioning him at her opening. 

With a grunt, Hades entered her. Hera moaned and wrapped her legs around his body pulling him in deeper as he began to move in and out. The marble counter beneath her grew slick and she grasped his shoulders as they pivoted against one another. 

“Yes,” she murmured as he pounded into her. “I--I, Oh!” She closed her eyes as pleasure erupted in her core and spread over her pulsing body. 

Hades continued to thrust, faster and harder until finally his body tensed and he jerked against her, releasing into her in staccatoed spasms. He fell against her on the counter, almost knocking her flat against the surface. 

“Gods, Hera,” he said, panting. “We shouldn’t do that.”

“You say that every time,” Hera laughed as she pushed him off her and to a standing position. 

“I mean it, Bunny,” Hades said. He took her face in his huge hands and stared down into her clear blue eyes. “It isn’t right. Zeus may be a gigantic ass, but I’m no better if I continue to betray his trust.”

“I know,” Hera told him. “You know that I love him. I just… sometimes I need him to see me. Really see me. I feel invisible to him so often. You… you always see me, Hades.”

“I always will, Bunny,” he replied. “But we can’t do this anymore, okay?” 

She nodded her head. She would try. She couldn’t promise that she’d always be successful, but she would try.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

Hades looked around the dark and crowded room and absently fidgeted with his napkin, twisting it into a stiff paper peak before tossing onto the table. He let out a long sigh as he sat alone at the large round table. Everyone else was dancing but him. He would have liked to have been dancing. He was rather good at it. There was just one thing missing…

Glancing around at the gyrating couples moving under the flashing colored lights, he frowned. One needed a partner to properly dance. Oh sure, he could get out there and bust some solo moves, but that always looked a bit sad and pathetic. 

His brothers had abandoned him at their table to go shake it on the dancefloor with their wives and all he could do was sit and watch. Once again, Minthe had cancelled at the last second, leaving him to go stag for yet another function. 

Hades picked up his glass and tossed it back with a grunt. 

“Damn nymphs,” he huffed. They were all so fickle and flighty. He shouldn’t waste his time and attention and especially his money on such an ungrateful creature as Minthe. But, she was as close as he seemed to be able to get to having a relationship. 

_ “Unless you count your brother’s wife,”  _ quipped the little annoying voice in his head. 

“I don’t,” he snapped back. “We’ve put the kibosh on that.” He looked out at Hera dancing with Zeus. Her arms were wound tightly around his neck and she was swaying her hypnotic hips back in forth in time with his. She looked relaxed and happy in his arms.

“She loves Zeus anyway,” Hades told his inner voice. “As she should.”

He took another swig of his drink and motioned to a passing waiter for another. Sitting back in his chair, he surveyed the room again. Pairs. Everywhere pairs. Only he was alone. 

“As usual,” he sighed glumly.

“What’s as usual?” asked a familiar female voice.

Hades jumped, startled, and whirled around to see Hera standing beside him at the table.

“B-Bunny!” he stuttered. “I was just… I mean… uh, Minthe!” he managed at last. “Minthe cancelled on me again. As usual.”

He breathed a sigh of relief when Hera accepted his answer and moved to sit down beside him.

“Honestly,” she began, “I don’t know why you put up with that ridiculous river nymph. She takes advantage of you, is manipulative and she constantly leaves you hanging.”

Hades shrugged. “I don’t know,” he told her. “I guess I’m just tired of being alone.”

Hera crossed her arms over her chest. “In case you haven’t noticed, Hades, you’re still alone while she’s off doing who-knows-what.”

“I’m not alone,” Hades countered with a half-smile. “You’re here now.”

The waiter returned with Hades’ drink, handing it to him before turning to Hera. 

“Anything for you, Majesty?” the waiter asked.

“No thanks,” she answered, waving him away. 

“Not drinking tonight?” Hades asked, raising a bushy eyebrow. “Are you the DD for Zeus or something?”

Hera shook her head and focused her gaze on the mass of bodies writhing and grinding on the dancefloor. 

“I’m pregnant,” she answered, still not looking at him.

“Bunny, that’s great!” Hades said warmly. “Congrats!”

“I haven’t told Zeus yet,” Hera said. 

Hades sat back, startled at her admission. “You’re telling me before you’ve told Zeus?” he asked.

“Yes,” replied Hera. She turned toward him and looked him hard in the face. “Hades, I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before you say anything, okay?”

“Sure, of course,” agreed Hades. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Right,” Hera sighed. She took a deep breath. “Here’s the thing,” she began. “That night you came to dinner and I got mad at Zeus and you and I… um… fooled around in the kitchen…” She paused and took another deep breath before continuing. “We weren’t exactly careful, as I recall.”

Hades opened his mouth to say something, but Hera raised a golden hand to silence him. “You agreed to listen without saying anything,” she reminded him. 

He nodded and motioned for her to continue, but he tugged at the collar of his tailored shirt, decidedly uncomfortable with where the conversation was going.

“The morning after that dinner, Zeus came to me and apologized and we ended up having a rather enthusiastic session of make-up sex,” Hera told him.

Hades’ face scrunched into a disgusted scowl at her disclosure. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked, squeamish. 

Hera shook her head and sighed. “Think about it, Hades.”

Hades was silent for a moment, mulling over her words in his mind. 

“Oooh,” he said finally. “OH!” he cried as the full meaning of what she’d told him dawned on him.

“Are you saying that there’s a possibility that—” Hera clamped a hand over Hades’ mouth. 

“Be quiet!” she growled. “You don’t know who’s listening. Besides, I haven’t said anything. I merely stated the facts of the situation.” She removed her hand from his mouth and Hades flopped back onto his chair.

“So, you don’t know for sure?” he asked her quietly.

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “And I’m not going to find out.”

“But—”

“What good would that do, Hades?” she asked and he saw tears shimmering like diamonds in her bright blue eyes. “It’s better for everyone involved for us not to question. As far as anyone will know, including both of  _ us _ , Zeus and I are going to have a baby.”

“B-but… What if it’s obvious?” Hades ventured. He could only imagine his brother’s reaction to Hera presenting him with a brand new bouncing blue baby. 

“It won’t be,” Hera answered flatly.

“But—”

“It  _ won’t  _ be.”

Hades swiped a hand over his brow, his mind whirling with a thousand thoughts and worries. What if it  _ was  _ his? Would it be okay? Would the child inherit his quirks and foibles? How was he supposed to react to his new niece/nephew/son/daughter? Would  _ he  _ be able to tell?

“Just be a good uncle, okay” Hera said, resting a hand on top of his. “That’s all I’m asking.”

“But Bunny,” Hades tried to protest. It was unfair to keep him in the dark. To deny him yet again. He’d already bent to the will of his brother and sister-in-law so many times at the expense of his social standing and relationship status. And now she would deny him this? He simply couldn’t allow it.

“Please, Hades,” Hera begged and his resolve melted. 

Maybe she was right. What good would it do for him to know? Even if the child were his, he’d never be able to openly acknowledge it without hurting Zeus and Hera and upsetting the whole family dynamic. 

“All right,” he said, his shoulders slumping in resignation. “I--I won’t ask. And even if I think… I’ll be a good uncle. The best.”

He would do as she asked. He would stay in the dark. After all, the dark was familiar. It was where he belonged.

“Thank you,” Hera said, giving his hand a squeeze. His heart squeezed as well as she got up from the table and rejoined her husband on the dancefloor. 

Hades laid a hand over his aching chest, willing the painful throbbing to subside, but it was no use. 

No one noticed when he slipped out of the party and crept slowly and silently back to the frosty darkness of the Underworld. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm not quite finished beating up on poor Hades. (Don't worry, it'll make the happy times all the sweeter!)
> 
> And because Hebe isn't purple. 
> 
> If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bunker awaiting the torches and pitchforks. Glad I bought all those cans of baked beans at Costso!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which our poor blue bean gets some respite.

The baby was beautiful. She was a miniature clone of her mother, golden skinned but with chubby cheeks and violet eyes. Hades stared down at the infant in his arms and studied her features. Her nose slightly resembled his, but that was a family trait he and all his brothers possessed. Her eye color definitely harkened to Zeus, but… 

_ “Maybe purple eyes are a recessive gene,” _he thought to himself. 

“What do you think of her?” Hera asked from the open doorway of the living room.

Hades looked up at her. Her figure was as lithe and lean as ever, her milk-swollen breasts the only hint she’d given birth just a few days earlier. Her hair was loose and hung in golden ringlets over her shoulders.

“She’s beautiful,” Hades answered, not looking at the baby, but rather her mother.

Hera stepped into the room and settled onto the sofa next to him. 

“We’ve named her Hebe,” she told him, running a dainty hand over the baby’s velvety head.

“Youth?” asked Hades.

Hera nodded. “She’s a new start for Zeus and me.” She looked up at Hades, catching and holding his gaze. “He and I have made an agreement. We’re both going to try to do better as spouses. We don’t want Hebe raised in the same volatile environment in which we brought up Ares. It’s no wonder he’s the god of War; it’s all he ever saw.”

Hades turned his gaze back to the baby, now sleeping contentedly in his arms, and let out a long sigh. “Of course,” he whispered.

Hera laid a soft hand on his arm. “You know it’s the right thing to do, Hades.”

Hades only answered with a nod. That was that. The end of whatever it was that they had been to each other. Hera was right, of course. But the finality of it stung all the same. He was being turned away again. Shunned for the glory that was Olympus. At least there was Minthe. Although she’d decided at the last minute that she didn’t want to go and meet the newest addition to the family. 

“No one even wants me there!” she’d barked at him when he’d insisted she go.

She wasn’t wrong.

Scrunching up his face, Hades focused on Hebe’s features, noting every dimple and the shape of her eyes and the length of her lashes, scanning for anything that might mirror his own. 

“Hades,” Hera said solemnly. ‘It doesn’t matter. It can’t matter. Remember your promise to me.” 

The god of the Underworld flopped back on the sofa and let out a dejected sigh. 

“I remember, Bunny,” he began. “I just--”

She silenced him with a look. “If you’ve ever cared for me at all, let this go. Be a good uncle for her. She’ll need one decent male to look up to in this world. I mean, look at her other options.”

Hades considered her words. There certainly was a distinct lack of positive male role models in their dysfunctional family. Zeus was a philanderer. Poseidon, though well-meaning, was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Ares was angry and aggressive. Eros was sincere and kind, but was firmly tied to his mother’s apron strings and easily manipulated by her. 

“I’ll do my best, Bunny,” Hades said quietly.

“Thanks, Hades,” Hera replied. She laid her head on his shoulder and Hades felt his heart squeeze in his chest. It was damnably unfair, but he would do anything for her. And anything for Hebe.

They sat silently for several moments before Hera spoke again.

“Do you want me to take her?” she asked, reaching for the child.

“Nah,” answered Hades. “She’s sleeping comfortably here. No need to disturb her.” He turned to Hera. “Why don’t you get some rest while she’s sleeping?”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. She’s fine. Go take a nap. You’re probably going to need it,” Hades said, managing a small smile. 

Hera stood and leaned over where he sat. She kissed Hebe on the forehead before doing the same to him. 

“You two stay out of trouble,” she teased before heading upstairs to lie down.

When she had gone, Hades gazed down at the little golden goddess sleeping peacefully in his arms. 

“Well kiddo,” he said. “I don’t know what we _ really _ are to each other, but as far as anyone else knows, I’m your favorite uncle, okay?”

The baby girl squirmed in his arms and opened one bright violet eye. 

Hades smiled. “Hey, you faker. You’re supposed to be asleep.”

Opening both eyes, the infant smiled. Hades’ heart clenched again, but this time in awe and joy.

“You’re not afraid or put off by me, are you, little one?” he asked happily.

As if in answer, the baby reached out a tiny golden hand and wrapped it tightly around one of his large blue fingers. 

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, Hades smiled down at the cooing infant. 

“You and I are going to be big pals, huh?” he asked her.

The tiny girl let out a little giggle before snuggling once more into his embrace and drifting off to sleep. 

Beaming with joy, Hades leaned back onto the sofa and began a mental list of all the ways in which he planned to spoil the girl rotten. 

Beginning with a pony. 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know infants are normally not capable of such interactions, but Hebe is  
A) a goddess  
B) emotionally mature beyond her years


	9. Chapter 9

Hades stared blankly down at the piece of paper the doctor had given him and then back up at where his personal physician sat at his desk, fingers steepled under his chin.

“I--I don’t understand, Paean,” he stammered. “If I’m healthy…”

“Hades,” said the doctor. “Your body underwent tremendous trauma when you were young. Most of your systems managed to develop normally. However, your reproductive system did not.” 

“Is there any way to fix it?”

“I’m afraid not,” the doctor answered. “If it were a matter of a blockage of the tubules or an undescended testicle it could be treated. Unfortunately, these systems just never developed for you.”

Hades squirmed in his seat at the doctor’s nonchalant description of his sexual dysfunction. 

“What exactly does that mean?” he asked.

“It means that while you may ejaculate, you have no sperm with which to fertilize an egg.”

“Oh,” Hades said, slumping down in his seat, the news slowly sinking in.

Paean rose from his chair and moved to sit on the edge of the desk in front of his friend. 

“Don’t take it so hard, Hades,” he told him. “Think of it as a blessing. Unlike your brother, you don’t have to worry about knocking up every nymph or mortal you seduce into your bed!” The doctor let out a loud guffaw and Hades gave a half-hearted chuckle. 

“Right,” he muttered, clutching the doctor’s report. He got up and moved to the door. 

“See you next year for your annual,” called Paean.

“Yeah, sure. Next year,” Hades mumbled back with only a half wave. He stumbled blindly out the door, his mind whirling and his heart threatening to crack open.

No babies. There would be no babies. Ever. He would never father children…

His throat clenched tight as a new thought crossed his mind.

_ “ _ Hebe,” he sighed. It was impossible that she was his. Like everything else he wanted in life, she belonged to his philandering idiot brother Zeus.

Hades crumpled the doctor’s report into his fist. Damn it all. It was so fucking unfair. He’d been denied status, position, marriage and now even progeny was kept from his grasp. 

“Fuck you, Cronus,” he spat under his breath. This was all his fault. And maybe his mother’s too. If only she’d fought harder…

Collapsing against a wall, Hades let out a sorrowful sigh. All he’d ever wanted was a family. He’d lost his father and mother to the war. He was kept at arms’ length by his brothers. His heart yearned for the intimacy of a familial unit, the connection of blood and centuries of history. But it seemed as if the Fates had long ago destined him for loneliness. Perhaps his position as the god of the Underworld, a realm of solitude and emptiness was perfect for him. He was empathetic to the lost souls who entered his kingdom, separated from all they had loved and cursed to wait beside the dark river, their hands empty of coins, watching as others more fortunate crossed over and faded into the fog. 

Hades pushed away from the wall and staggered out into the brilliance of Olympus. His first thought was to flee back to the comforting blackness of the Underworld. There he could hide his sorrow in shadow. But his heart ached for solace and before he could stop himself he had jumped into his sleek car and pointed it in the direction of his brother’s sprawling estate. He had no desire to talk to Zeus, but the thought of Hera’s consoling embrace and kind eyes consumed him. 

She answered the door herself, pausing a moment to take in his pitiful state. Her bright blue eyes narrowed in concern and she gathered him into her arms and guided him into the living room.

“Hades,” she began when she’d seated him next to her on the sofa. “What happened?”

He looked awful. His azure skin looked pale and ashy, the color of storm clouds. His eyes were red and ringed with purple circles. He sat with his shoulders slumped and his head low.

“Sh-- she--she isn’t m-m-mine,” he stammered. 

Hera’s face darkened. “Hades,” she growled. “You promised. You promised me you wouldn’t ask, wouldn’t try to find out…”

“I d-d-didn’t,” Hades slowly replied. “I only know b-b-because it’s im-p-p-possible.”

“What do you mean?” asked Hera, her golden brows furrowing.

“I’m s-s-s-sterile,” Hades finally managed.

Hera’s hand flew to her mouth at his confession. “Oh Hades!” she cried.

On the couch, the god of the Underworld laid his head in his hands and sobbed. Hera placed a golden hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered to him. “I know that maybe it’s little consolation, but Hebe adores you over everyone. She doesn’t care what relation you are to her. You are simply her favorite person anywhere.”

Hades lifted his head and looked up at the goddess. He knew what she said was true. Hebe had formed a bond with him right away and he had always doted on her. He had tried not to think about what his true relation to her might be, but it had always been a question in the back of his mind. Now that he had the answer, he knew it wouldn’t change how he felt about the five-year-old. 

If that had been the only issue with the news the doctor had given him, he could have borne it, but the thought of never having children of his own tore at his heart and drew him down into despair.

“It’s not fair, Bunny,” he groaned. “Why am I cursed to be alone?” 

“You aren’t alone, Hades,” replied the goddess. “You have your brothers. You have Hebe and me…”

“But I have nothing and no one of my own,” argued Hades. “You all have your own families and your own lives. I’m on my own. There’s no one to share my life with. I’ll never have children of my own. Not that it matters, since I don’t even have the hope of a wife.”

Hera bristled at his words and stood, turning to glare down at him. “I suppose I’m to blame for that,” she spat. “I know I failed you in the marriage department, Hades…”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Bunny.”

“You have that  _ nymph _ after all,” Hera retorted, stressing the word “nymph” as if it were something distasteful. 

Hades slumped further into the couch at the thought of Minthe. She would probably be relieved to know she’d never have to worry about mothering his children. Perhaps it was for the best that he was sterile. Minthe was hardly the nurturing type. 

“I’m going home,” Hades muttered as he struggled to his feet. 

Hera let out a long sigh. “Don’t leave angry,” she told him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be cross with you when you’ve received such devastating news.” 

“I’ll be fine,” he told her glumly. “Just don’t… don’t mention this to anyone, okay? I’d rather not have everyone in Olympus knowing what a colossal failure I am.”

“Hades…” Hera whispered, reaching for him. He pulled away and stalked toward the front door. The last thing he wanted was pity. Speeding home toward the Underground, Hades cursed himself for building up hopes of family life.

“It’s probably just as well,” he told himself. “Look at what a clusterfuck of a marriage Zeus and Hera have. They’re constantly at war. And Posiedon is too clueless to see that he’s dominated by  _ his  _ wife. Maybe I should just be grateful I’ll never have to deal with such problems.” 

He gripped the wheel tightly and followed the dark road back to the never-ending nightscape of the Underworld.

* * *

Minthe was on the sofa watching television when he returned. She barely looked up as he stomped down the hall. 

“Where are the dogs?” he asked, poking his head into the den.

“I put them out,” Minthe answered, her voice tinged with indifference. “They don’t like me and they were stinking up the whole place.”

“I don’t like for them to stay outside long,” Hades growled. 

Minthe rolled her eyes and gave a sarcastic sigh. “They’re just dogs.”

“”They’re not just dogs,” Hades shot back. “They’re… they’re…”

“Your babies?” Minthe asked, frowning.

“Yes,” Hades told her.

“Ugh,” she grunted in reply. “So pathetic.”

Hades turned on his heel and moved to the back door where seven furry faces peered in through the dark glass and seven tails wagged at his approach. He opened the door and was immediately tackled by Cerberus, who was not accustomed to being away from his master. Mushroom, JP and Russell climbed over one another, clamoring for his attention while Cordon Bleu and Fudge yapped and nipped playfully at his ankles. Big John sat patiently and obediently outside the mass of wagging tails and wriggling bodies, calmly waiting his turn to greet his master. Hades rewarded him with extra ear-scratches and a sing-songy “Who’s a good boy?”

Hades led the yipping and waggling crew into the kitchen and prepared their dinners. He poured himself a drink and took a seat at the kitchen bar as his furry family gobbled their kibble and pate.

“Maybe you guys are all I need,” he told them. “You’re mostly obedient. You don’t complain about the food. Well, except for Cordon Bleu on occasion. You’re a bit messy, but I don’t mind that.” 

Big John looked up from his dish and gave a little “ruff” and Hades smiled. 

“You’re right, Big John. I have plenty of babies.”

He took a big swig of his drink and sighed. 

“Plenty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to address the revelation we recently received regarding our Big Blue Bean, so apparently I'm not done torturing him. Sorry? 
> 
> Paean, according to different sources, is the physician of the gods. The name is used as both an epithet of Apollo and Asclepius, depending on the source and period of record.


End file.
